100 Days of Futureshock Day 3 - "The Box!"

Whew, I'm already exhausted by this goddamn challenge. I forgot how frustrating it was to try and do this damn thing while also managing to have a life and a job and a family. But I am chundering on ahead, damn it. I shall see this one through all the way, baby. ALL THE WAY!

So grab a decaf latte and check out out review of Richard Kelly's slowly paced but underrated "The Box."

The Box (2009): Directed by Richard Kelly. Starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden and Frank Langella.

The Skinny: Based on an episode of "The Outer Limits," which in turn was based on aRichard Matheson story, whereupon a young couple receives a mysterious box from an even more mysterious stranger, their actions set in motion a Mobius Strip of intrigue that leads to the unraveling of their lives.

The Real Deal: Richard Kelly is an odd fucking bird. He came out of the box running with the brilliant and moving "Donnie Darko," which made a superstar out of one Mr. Jake Gyllenhall. Then he followed it up with another masterpiece that could be one of the most underrated science fiction movies of the last 20 years, "Southland Tales." (But more on that later.)

And then he smoked a lot of crack (presumably) and came up with this frustrating little number.

Problem is, the story behind "The Box" is relatively simple: your every action has some ramification, no matter how insignificant they appear. Yet Kelly mucks it all up by adding elements that seem to do nothing but frustrate the living hell out of you. You wind up spending time during the movie, thinking "Why does Cameron Diaz only have half a foot?" and "What happened to Frank Langella's face?" and "Why in hell would anyone cast that douchebag who played Cyclops in the first X-Men movie?" By focusing on those elements, which may or may not have anything to do with the movie (except that last bit), you wind up not paying attention to the rest of the damn thing. So by the end, you're all like, "Why is that kid locked in the bathroom?" and "Why does Cameron Diaz have a gun?" and "Why the fuck didn't they fire Cyclops before they got too deep into the production?"

Just like he did with the brilliant but equally frustrating "Southland Tales," Kelly tries to cram ten pounds of shit into what is roughly a three-pound bag. Unlike "Tales," however, I am not too sure that "The Box" will yield any great secrets with consecutive watchings. Hell, I've seen it twice and it put me to sleep both times. You can watch "Tales" a dozen times and walk away thinking something different each time. Try that with "The Box" and you'll put the makers of Ambien out of business.

Is It Worth My Time: Actually, yes. See it once, because it is filled with a certain intrigue that will keep you guessing, even if you don't really get the satisfaction of a neat little ending when it's all said and done. There is also a creeping, all-pervasive paranoia that permeates the movie (which, I believe, has something to do about the destruction of Mars. I ain't sure) that can give you the total willies. Also Kelly is a brilliant writer and has a certain visual style and pacing that at its best recalls some of Stanley Kubrick's finest moments. Just be prepared to a) suspend all disbelief and b) be frustrated by unanswered questions that likely won't be answered when you decide to watch it again. Just stay away from benzodiazepines when you do.

Best Scene Ever: The end moments, when all those bizarre elements that only so very slowly get explained to you as you go on, do deliver an emotionally taut conclusion that will set any parent's jaw on edge and have you looking warily across the sofa at the fucking animal you married, wondering if they would subject you to a similar fate. And you know they would, you evil bastard.

Quotable Stuff: "Your home is a box. Your car is a box on wheels. You drive to work in it. You drive home in it. You sit in your home, staring into a box. It erodes your soul, while the box that is your body inevitably withers... then dies. Where upon it is placed in the ultimate box, to slowly decompose."

100 Days of Futureshock Day 2 - "Conquest of Space!"

S'up y'all?! All my peoples in the crowd, lemme see you dance!

And enough with the Britney Spears shite.

So far the first two films have gone off well, and the experience has been rewarding so far! I am enjoying the new format and I find that it gives me a chance to be more free with the language in general. Frankly, I've been reading a lot of articles at Cracked.com recently and their use of language - both naughty and nice - inspired me to say whatever the hell I want to say. I was afraid of certain words and avenues of speech before because I don't want to offend anyone, but I also find that if what you say is used in context - and is funny enough to warrant being said - then all bets are off, sucka. And if it does offend anyone, then thank god you can go the hell away and read about flowers or Jesus or whatever the hell it is you like. In the immortal words of Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction, "Hey, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, Scotty."

So now, onto today's production, 1955s "Conquest of Space." Later today we'll be checking out "The Box," directed by Richard Kelly of "Donnie Darko" fame. I hope you can play along! Thanks again for reading,and give us feedback on our new methods. And please feel free to share and re-share this link, always!

Conquest of Space (1955): Directed by Bryon Haskin. Starring Walker Brooke, Erin Fleming, Phil Foster and Mickey Shaughnessy.

The Skinny: A group of Army engineers that have been working on a top-secret project at an orbiting space station get the shock of their lives when they're told that they'll also be piloting said ship to the distant planet of Mars instead of the planned moon trip. Space madness and a series of unfortunate evens, however, may jeopardize their ability to make it back home.

The Real Deal: This is basically one of those WWII "Military Men on a Mission" movies that simply replaces any number of European Theater operations with outer space. They're even in the Army - not NASA, not the Navy, the Army! There's a lot of Average Joe chitchat where they bitch about the brass, the chow, and the grueling working conditions - most of it courtesy of comedian and character actor Phil Foster, better known as Frank De Fazio of "Laverne and Shirley." His Brooklyn accent hilariously turns "work" into "woik" and Earth into "Oith," and much of the rest of his dialogue consists of screaming and complaining out of the side of his mouth. As for the rest of the line-up, it is straight out of a million other combat scripts still lying around after the WWII trend dried up. There's the Regular Joe, the Italian, the funny Swarthy Guy (possibly Mexican, I wasn't sure), the brazen New Yorker and there's even an angry Irish Sergeant. I didn't fail to notice, however, there there wasn't a single black person among the all-male crew. Apparently, brothers are not welcome in outer space, even in a future so advanced that there is a Japanese crew member. Granted, he's from Hawaii and even gives a speech about his people's "horrible war" that he apologizes for and makes the argument that his people are small because they don't have enough to eat back on earth, but ... look, they were trying, huh? Give them poor dumb whiteys a break.

The movie, produced by sci-fi veteran George Pal ("When Worlds Collide"), is actually a reasonably accurate look at how the early days of space would soon unfold; albeit with dials and tubes and levers and gauges that are all so ridiculously analogue you wonder how we actually did manage to get to space less than a decade later. The special effects, however, were ridiculed in their day - and let's face it, they were a step above Ed Wood's paper plates as flying saucers. There also a few somewhat vaguely disguised homosexual references, particularly in the Irish guy's constant face-to-face offer for a "spot o' tea" with a lecherous grin on his shiny face. Shiny, I'm assuming, because all Irishmen are drunkards - even in outer space.

Is it Worth My Time: Frankly, yes. As my wife commented, this type of movie epitomizes one of the styles of 1950s science fiction movies - the other usually in the form of some kind of vaguely masked "Red Scare" menace. They even manage to get some of the science right, particularly in the anti-gravity scenes (some of which serve as comic relief in a movie that is already unintentionally hilarious). And whoever the hell that announcer at the beginning of the movie was ... that bastard is amazing. As he reads through the introductory paragraph, his voice rises in pitch and urgency until he's virtually screaming the title of the film in your goddamn pathetic face. He got me pumped up for what wound up to be a mediocre experience, but it's still worth a glance if you like movies from this era. Forget the laughable plot holes and the absolute cheese factor, like the scene where it actually snows on fucking Christmas. On Mars. I mean, come the hell on, dude.

Best Scene Ever: When the "telescope" goes out, requiring Frank De Fazio and Swarthy Guy to take an extravehicular walk to repair it, they find themselves in the path of a massive flaming asteroid. The ensuing escape is actually edge-of-your-seat close, even if the special effects aren't Michael Bay-worthy. Plus, when the Swarthy Dude dies in the wake of its passing, that explains how they're gonna provide extra rations for the Irish Guy, who conveniently snuck aboard after being denied service over his age. Nice fix, dudes.

Quotable Stuff: "Soldier?! A ghost you mean! A robot spinning around the earth every two hours on a tin donut!" Capt. Barney Merritt.

100 Days of Futureshock Day 1 - "The Black Hole!"

Here it is, folks - our first movie critique of 2011, and our blog's new format. Please give us some feedback and tell us what you think! I'll dispense with further commentary. Rave on, Ravers!

The Black Hole (1979): Directed by Gary Nelson. Starring: Anthony Perkins, Maxmillian Schell, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Forrester, Yvette Mimieux, Roddy McDowell and Slim Pickens (both uncredited).

The Skinny: On the return leg of a deep-space mission in the year 2130, a group of scientists discover a long-missing vessel somehow maintaining orbit around the biggest goddamn black hole anyone has ever seen. As they investigate further, they are pulled into the machinations of a madman who has converted his entire crew into robots, and has plans to fly his decrepit-ass ship into the black hole.

The Real Deal: This movie was made in 1979, at a time when outer space was never more popular thanks to a silly little flick we like to call "Star Wars." Eager to capitalize on the trend, the Disney Company (what?! Disney wants more money? Surely you jest!) tucked in and made their first-ever film to feature both bad language and evisceration. Granted, the "bad language" was "damn" and "hell" and the evisceration was about as bloody as a wart removal, but hey! Progress! With a $20 million budget, it was also the most expensive project the studio that brought you "Herbie the Love Bug" and its various permutations had ever produced at the time (a righteous gamble, since it brought back $36 million, which when adjusted from 1979 dollars equals a fucking bucketload).

There's a lot to dissect about this film - and by dissect, I mean rip it to bloody shreds, cover said shreds in gasoline, and dance around the flames guzzling Everclear - but I'll leave a lot of that shit alone so's I can jump right to the meat of my criticism, which may just forever emasculate me and seal my fate as a dickless, geeky wonder.

Now, I'm not an ubernerd by any means of the word - and that's not to imply that there aren't a dozen boxes of comics and a shelf full of Spawn toys in the next room (because there are). No, I mean that I am usually not the guy who usually says things like, "In reality there's be no fireball when the Death Star explodes because there is no oxygen in the vacuum of space to fuel it." In fact, I'd usually kick that fucker's ass right out of the theater and into the street to be struck by the first bread truck that comes along. But in this movie, there is just one ridiculously obvious mistake that just about anyone should be capable of pointing out. And that is, you cannot fly into a black fucking hole. You can possibly orbit the hole's event horizon, which is the space surrounding the event that is basically a mathematical barrier between the pull of gravity and the "point of no return." But if you actually fly into the damn thing, science tells us you will be stretched into nothingness for an eternity. Your agony will never to cease as time itself becomes trapped within its irresistable pull. Kind of like when you get caught up in looking at tranny porn online for six hours. No, I ain't linking to that reference - look it up yourself, you pervs.

No, any asshole who has stumbled drunkenly across 30 goddamn seconds of "Deep Space Nine" at three o'clock in the morning after gorging on Four Loko all night could tell you that what they actually found was an unstable wormhole. When the ships enter the hole, they both emerge at different locations instead of being crushed or, as I previously mentioned, stretched into neurons for all time. As far as their final destinations are concerned, all I can say is ... WTF. At the end of this wretched mess of physics, when the ships both fly into the center of the swirling vortex, the bad guy merges with his evil robot and we see them lording over a seething, flaming pit of hell (complete with the tortured souls), while the good guys sail down a long-assed crystal cathedral to emerge somewhere in regular space and approaching a planet. There's also a semi-psychedelic episode of spinning faces and echoing voices but Christ, let's not get into that now. Let's just say that the writers knew about as much about rudimentary astro-physics as the native peoples of New Guinea, and leave it at that.

Is it Worth my Time: For a movie with some pretty cool looking effects (it was nominated for an Academy Award in that category) and some reasonably big-name - if not a little past-their-time - actors, it just fails to impact on any emotional level. It has that whole mise-en-sense feel, like it's technically the next (or in this case, final) episode of some shitty sci-fi series. That worked fine for "Star Wars," thanks to George Lucas' incredible script that gave us characters who were both instantly likable and mysterious at the same time. It also tries to capitalize on the lovable robot trend, but these garbage cans with jet packs cannot match the inherent cuteness of another, more popular garbage can with legs. And at NINETY EIGHT MINUTES, this fucker has the pacing of a state funeral, I expected to see that it was over two hours when I checked Wikipedia. Nope - ninety-eight minutes. That makes the movie itself a Black Hole, where time itself cannot escape and our agony is eternal. What was that tranny porn link again?

Best Scene Ever: The final moments, with the swirling and echoing and the craziness. And even though it's head-scratchingly annoying, the scene where Schell and his evil robot Max merge and stand on top of a mountain observing their own personal hell is pretty cool looking.

Quotable Stuff: "It's about time people learned about their failures and my successes!" Dr. Hans Reinhardt.

100 Days of Futureshock - The List!

LIKE A SOCIAL DISEASE YOU JUST CAN'T SHAKE WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF PENICILLIN - WE'RE BACK TO MAKE YOU SCRATCH AND MOAN!

Cosmic greetings this New Year, my minions! We're back with a brand new mission - to bring you our deep, deep insights into a new realm of moviedom - SCI FI!

Ooh, it's so deep, baby. You know you feel it.

So we bring to you the official "100 Days of Futureshock" blog! In this episode, we will track over 70 years worth of science fiction movies, from Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" to to Alfonso Cuaron's epic "Children of Men" and beyond.

The rules are a little different this time. First off, I will be watching the movie first and blogging afterwards instead of the other way around, which was stupid. Okay, it wasn't really stupid, because the goal of the "100 Days of Horror" challenge was to figure out what it was that attracted me to horror films. Now? Hell, now I'm just frigging bored and miss talking about movies. So now, instead of working towards a Halloween celebration of a "Halloween" double bill, we will instead end our Sci-Fi challenge with the mother of all modern sci-fi trilogies - "The Matrix Trilogy!"

Secondly ... well, that's it. The format will be a little different and I will include more in-depth commentary than before when I care to. Also, I'll include favorite scenes as well as memorable quotes and even a "Best Scene Ever" entry as well. Who knows, we'll see ...

So we'll keep the niceties to a dull roar this time around and just present you with the list to beat all lists! Finely crafted! Expertly honed! Lousy with mistakes and probably a few repeats!

Play along at home! Sync your Netflix and your Blockbuster Online accounts (does that still exist? I dunno)! And enjoy our bizarre take on film!

THE LIST:

Jan. 8: The Black Hole (1979)

Jan. 9: Conquest of space (1955)

Jan. 10: The Box (2010)

Jan. 11: Minority Report (2002)

Jan. 12: War of the Worlds Double Bill

Jan. 13: Metropolis/Metropolis

Jan. 14: First Men on the Moon (1964)

Jan. 15: Dune (1984)

Jan. 16: Vanilla Sky (2001)

Jan. 17: Forbidden Planet (1956)

Jan. 18: Gog (1954)

Jan. 19: Westworld (1973)

Jan. 20: Buckaroo Banzai (1984)

Jan. 21: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Jan. 22: The Omega Man (1971)

Jan. 23: From the Earth to the Moon (1958)

Jan. 24: I Robot (2004)

Jan. 25: Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957)

Jan. 26: Outland (1981)

Jan. 27: It Conquered the World (1956)

Jan. 28: Killers From Space (1954)

Jan. 29: Krull (1983)

Jan. 30: Last Woman on Earth (1960)

Jan. 31: Moon (2009)

Feb. 1: A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Feb. 2: The Fifth Element (1997)

Feb. 3: Things to Come (1936)

Feb. 4: District 9 (2009)

Feb. 5: Planet of the Apes/Planet of the Apes

Feb. 6: Star Wars (1977)

Feb. 7: Robot Monster (1953)

Feb. 8: K-Pax (2001)

Feb. 9: The Astounding She Monster (1957)

Feb. 10: Robocop (1987)

Feb. 11: The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955)

Feb. 12: Predator (1987)

Feb. 13: The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

Feb. 14: The Wizard of Mars (1965)

Feb. 15: They Came From Beyond Space (1967)

Feb. 16: Trancers (1985)

Feb. 17: Warlords of Atlantis (1978)

Feb. 18: Zardoz (1973)

Feb. 19: Logan’s Run (1976)

Feb. 20: Donovan’s Brain (1953)

Feb. 21: I Am Legend (2007)

Feb. 22: Soylent Green (1973)

Feb. 23: 1984 (1984)

Feb. 24: Dark Star (1974)

Feb. 25: The Stepford Wives Double Bill (1975/2004)

Feb. 26: On The Beach (1958)

Feb. 27: The Abyss (1989)

Feb. 28: Terminator/Terminator 2 (1984/1991)

March 1: Avatar (2010)

March 2: Creation of the Humanoids (1962)

March 3: Brainstorm (1983)

March 4: Invaders From Mars (1986)

March 5: Alien/Aliens Double Bill (1979/1986)

March 6: The Running Man (1987)

March 7: Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind (1977)

March 8: THX-1138 (1971)

March 9: Night of the Comet (1984)

March 10: Mad Max Triple Feature

March 11: Total Recall (1990)

March 12: The Mole People (1956)

March 13: Equilibrium (2002)

March 14: 12 Monkeys (1995)

March 15: Southland Tales (2006)

March 16: The Day the Earth Stood Still Double Bill

March 17: Highlander

March 18: Dreamscape/Inception (1984/2010)

March 19: Fire Maidens from outer Space (1956)

March 20: Pitch Black/ Chronicles of Riddick

March 21: Blade Runner (1982)

March 22: Children of Men (2006)

March 23: War Gods of the Deep (1965)

March 24: Solaris (2002)

March 25: Demolition Man (1993)

March 26: The Day Mars Invaded Earth (1963)

March 27: Starman (1984)

March 28: A Scanner Darkly (2006)

March 29: Fantastic Voyage (1966)

March 20: Gattica (1997)

March 31: Brazil (1985)

April 1: The Man With the Xray Eyes (1963)

April 2: Silent Running (1972)

April 3: Them! (1954)

April 4: ExisTenZ (1999)

April 5: Altered States (1982)

April 6: Night of the Lepus (1972)

April 7: Godzilla Double Feature

April 8: One Million Years BC (1966)

April 9: Journey to the Center of the Earth Double Feature

April 10: Barbarella (1968)

April 11: Missile to the Moon (1958)

April 12: Escape from New York (1981)

April 13: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

April 14: Sleeper (1973)

April 15: Men in Black I & 2

April 16: Flash Gordon (1980)

April 17: The Matrix Trilogy!!!

100 Days of Horror Presents: Oscar Roundup 2010, Vol. 1 - "The Social Network!"

Greetings Ghouls and Goblins! See, I haven't abandoned this site! Nor have I abandoned my pitiful attempts at alliteration (damn! there was another one!).

True, there are still a few movies left on the list that I'd like to discuss, I am also in the process of figuring out what else to do with this blog site. Because I definitely enjoyed the 100 Days of Horror challenge and I've always loved talking and writing about movies, so I figured why not use the time between the other planned challenges to talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about ... so far as it's related to the celluloid arts!

So I will start that trend today with a film I've had the opportunity to view several times over the past week. This is one of those rare movies that comes along and reminds me that filmmaking just looks like so much fun, even when you're fucking with people's lives. Go see it now while it's still in theaters. Of course, we're talking about David Fincher's incredible new film, "The Social Network." Thanks as usual for reading, and if anyone has a recommendation as ro a great film or two from 2010, please send it along!

The Social Network (2010): Directed by David Fincher. Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Armie Hammer, Justin Timberlake, Andrew Garfield, Max Minghella, Rooney Mara and Brenda Song.

The Skinny: In 2003, a drunk and rejected Mark Zuckerberg sat down at his computer, hacked the pages of Harvard's sororities and created a Website that compared random girls and allowed the user to select the hotter one. Next thing you know, ol' Zuckerberg's a gazillionaire as "FaceMash" turns into "Facebook," and he sheds every "real" friend in his life along the path to success.

What's Good: David Fincher has hit the frigging nail on the frigging head yet once again. One of the things I find so fascinating about his films is their timeliness - the way they have of subtly seizing the Zeitgeist in both filmdom and in society: "Seven" and "The Game" broke open doors for psychological horror, the yardstick by which all other so-called "sophisticated" horror movies like "Saw" will be measured; "Fight Club" couldn't have come at a better time for the director and for Ed Norton and Brad Pitt, and for the burgeoning Mixed Martial Arts phenomenon; and "Panic Room" and "Zodiac" both grasped onto the pervasive paranoia extant in post-9/11 America. And once again, Fincher has created a mastermind of a film that couldn't be more of the moment - a film about "Facebook."

I know - at first, the idea of making a movie about a Website is as dumb as making one based on a video game ("Bloodrayne" or "House of the Dead," anyone?), but the emotional core is easy to find in this complex film that explores personal communication in the Information Age. Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin create a character who devises a social networking phenomenon, yet seemingly has zero social skills himself. Under Fincher's direction, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg becomes the uber-geek, perpetually scorned and forever apart because of his inability to connect emotionally, like some stunted Aspergers genius taking out his frustrations through program development instead of gunning down zombies in a video game.

The gem at the center of this movie's crown is the increasingly impressive Jesse Eisenberg as Zucherberg. In his hands, the character takes on a glimmer that is both harmless and sinister all at once. He delivers the dialogue at a lightning-quick pace, but with every word clear and emotive - and never once do we lose sight of the hurting and damaged manchild at the core of this complex personality. It is an absolutely amazing performance, with Eisenberg pulling off a show that is almost machinelike in its execution, somehow cold and emotionless yet with a depth unmatched by actors twice his age of 27. If he is ignored come Oscar time, then people are watching the wrong damn films, because he at least deserves the nod for Best Actor, if not the award itself.

Award nods should also be handed out to screenwriter Sorkin for brilliantly adapting the 2009 non-fiction book "The Accidental Billionaires," and to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for their mind-warping score. Wrapping the story of the tender first days of the Facebook empire in two simultaneous court cases involving Zuckerberg, Sorkin creates a non-linear storyline that wraps itself up in a neat little bow complete with an emotionally stunning conclusion. And for the score, Reznor and longtime collaborator Ross craft a creeping, almost relentless piece of orchestration that will haunt you long after you hear it, like the best of Nine Inch Nails inevitably does. It perfectly underscores the urgent pace at which the first third of the film unfolds, creating leitmotifs that recur throughout the rest of the film and expertly recall the characters' emotional states. Even when the music is supposed to be obnoxious in-your-face club garbage, it's still worth listening to.

Also worthy of recognition come this spring is Justin Timberlake as Napster founder Sean Parker. Oozing the smarmy charm of a rick nerd masked with a party animal exterior, Timberlake personifies the gold rush of the early days of the Internet. When he mentions how he brought down the record industry, and is reminded that the industry won its case against him, Parker smiles and says, "Care to buy a Tower Records right now?" Timberlake is awesome here - in fact, he's never been better.

What's Bad: Nothing. This movie falls into that rare category where I wouldn't change one single aspect of the production. It's near-flawless, and I say "near" because there may be something in there that's wrong or missing or superfluous, but I have no idea what that could be. It's a masterpiece.

The Predictions: I say: Oscar noms for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Score, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor (Eisenberg), Best Supporting Actor (Timberlake), Best Sound Editing. Wins: Best Director (this would be Fincher's second, after "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"), Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay (Sorkin), Best Original Score, Best Sound Editing.

100 Days of Horror-Recapping the Fall - "The Exorcist!"

As promised, I am counting down the last five or six films that I missed over my busy schedule.

Not having to rush, rush, rush makes it much more fun for me, and has given me some ideas on how I will conduct future "100 Days" challenges.

So stay tuned for more news on those future events! And in the meantime, get someplace warm and safe, turn on all the lights, lock the doors, grab an baseball bat, a bible and a gun and prepare for the horror that is 1973's "The Exorcist." Goddamn, this movie still scares me stupid!

The Exorcist (1972): Directed by WIlliam Friedkin. Starring Ellyn Burstyn, Linda Blair, Max Von Sydow and Jason Miller.

The Skinny: While on location for a movie shoot in Washington, D.C., the young daughter of the lead actress starts to exhibit bizarre, almost supernatural behavior. Meanwhile, an old priest on an archeological expedition in the Middle East unearths signs that an ancient demon is returning to fight it out with its old nemesis once again.

What's Good: Perhaps the first - and highest quality - film to usher in the era of "Sophisticated Horror," "The Exorcist" showed us that no one is safe; that an act as simple as playing with a ouija board could lead to a confrontation with forces beyond our beliefs. In fact, belief and faith (and lack of them) drive the entire film to its roaring, supernatural conclusion. The film explores (much less successfully than the novel by William Peter Blatty) the nature of faith throughout: the MacNeal family ascribes to no particular faith (are, in fact, quite secular); the young Jesuit priest (the brilliant Jason Miller, nominated for Best Supporting Actor in 1973), also struggles with his own faith, based largely on the poor health and eventual death of his mother; and Max Von Sydow's Father Merrin is a man of deep faith who has turned away from the church to scuttle about the ruins of ancient Iraq after a previous exorcism left him physically and emotionally shattered. When these disparate elements combine to save the life - and soul - of an adorable 12-year-old girl (an amazing Linda Blair, in perhaps her only decent role in nearly 40 years), all of their beliefs are tested once more, and their collective faith put to the ultimate test. In fact, it takes the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of Miller's tortured Father Karras to finally free Reagan MacNeal from this demon's grip (no, it isn't the devil). The re-touched version, referred to as "The Version You've Never Seen" is definitely the superior version to watch. Technology allowed a famously deleted "spider walk" scene to be seamlessly restored, and Friedkin added other subtle, almost subliminal elements that amp up the supernatural horror to 50. The film scares because if its clinical - and quite accurate - representation of possession and its various stages. It could happen to you or me. It wasn't a monster or anything we could see. And man that's damn terrifying, especially when you don't believe in a higher power in the first place.

What's Bad: Nothing, unless you're one of those people who're opposed to the occasional foray into gore and sacrilegious scenes - sometimes in the same breath, like when Reagan plunges a silver crucifix into her vagina while screaming "Let Jesus fuck you!" Yeah, then maybe skip this one.

Why We Like It: This is the first movie I remember watching that scared me to mother fucking death. I mean terrified beyond belief. I had to curl up at the foot of my grandmother's bed and watch it from beneath a pile of blankets - and that was the toned-down televised version! As n adult finally willing to revisit the movie (perhaps my tender sensibilities had finally been numbed down by all those slasher films), i found it to be a deeply psychological exploration of the nature of belief and faith, and I found myself paying much more attention to the nuanced performances and the clever effects than I was to the bad words. However, child or adult, the final exorcism scene is dark, bleak and unnerving. When I was a kid, it seemed to last forever, even though it was the scene I was most looking forward to. As an adult, however, I find myself dreading the final showdown, because it is one of the few movies that gives me the absolute fucking heebie-jeebies. I don't think I need to explain why. So instead of the mortal terror that Blair instills in me, I focus instead on Miller's incredible facial expressions and his agonized delivery of lines such as, "You're not my mother!" His characterization is what brings me back to this film again and again. And that's no slight to the always amazing Von Sydow, who is just one of the finest of his or any generation. He can wrench more emotion out of just five words than most actors can get from an entire page. This was Oscar nominated in 10 categories and won two, for best sound and best adapted screenplay. It lost Best Picture to "The Sting," let's be honest ... who's renting/downloading "The Sting" these days? Who's retouching "The Sting" and rereleasing it to theaters for it to net another $100 million? Fucking no one, that's who. And don't get me started on the "Goodfellas"/"Dances With Wolves" fiasco, either!

Memorable Stuff: Any of the early scenes between Miller and Blair are fantastic, the dialogue edgy and scary and quite quotable. And one aspect of he film that bothers me insanely is the graphic way it shows medical scans that are utterly ancient when compared to today's technology. They subject to to insanely loud CAT scans, spinal taps and arterial shunts and wholly fucking shit I can't watch that. But for me, the scariest and most memorable part is when during the exorcism scene she breaks free of her restraints and knocks the priests to the floor. The shot of her on her knees, hands in the air like claws, her head back and howling an unearthly sound, silhouetted against a light as the image of the Babylonian demon Pazuzu appears behind her ... Jesus, it just gave me a chill writing about it. Someone turn on the goddamn light in here, already!

100 Days of Horror - Recapping the Fall - "The Mummy!"

UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS WILL APPEAR ON YOUR SCREEN!

Yes, the goddamn fact of it all is that I totally skipped out on the last few entries in this blog, despite the fact that I actually did watch the movies on the list. I just couldn't find the time to wind this thing up in the proper manner.

It sucks, but hey what can you do? Not read it, I suppose, just like 50 million other people ain't reading it.

Or you could indulge me and give me a chance to catch up and talk about the movies I've missed in the past few days. Because I was actually very excited to talk about these few films, since they're some of my favorites.

So if it please the court - now that I have the time, and despite the fact that the Spooky Season is officially over - I will blather on for the next few days about the movies I love ... starting with the 1932 classic, "The Mummy!"

Thanks again for your indulgence. I hope you can still play along at home.

The Mummy (1932): Directed by Karl Freund. Starring Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, David Manners and Edward Van Sloan.

The Skinny: When a group of archeologists disturb the tomb on an ancient, cursed king, they unwittingly unleash the damned Imhotep from his sarcophagi to seek his revenge ... and a replacement for his equally doomed bride.

What's Good: This movie is almost an experiment in existential film making. The way the shots are composed, the hypnotic nature of the performances (particularly Boris Karloff at perhaps his most spookiest) and the oddly paced dialogue all seem to be lulling us into a state that prepares us for the horror of possession and the coupling of the reanimated dead. For that's exactly what happens in this film (and its somewhat worthy remake with Brandon Frazier) - a resurrected, cursed priest returns to find his bride embodied in the lovely frame of Zita Johann. His task is to reembody the spirit of his departed Ankhsenamun into the body of Helen Grosvenor, reunited at last (and it feels so good!). Audiences may swallow that stuff now like cotton candy at the state fair, but back then - when it was taboo to even show unmarried men and women getting together - the sexual union of the dead was enough to make audiences faint. Is that why Freud, formerly the cinematographer on "Dracula" who was hired for "The Mummy" just days before shooting began - chose to create a fever dream that teases with his German Expressionism background? Who cares, it's effective and it works like a charm.

What's Bad: Again, as with "Dracula," the overall lack of a score is troublesome to my ringing ears and can sometimes detract from scenes where a little night music would suit us well. Other than that, it is an imortal classic and one that deserves to be in every collection.

Why We Like It: All the above, of course. It isn't your typical horror film and I love it for that alone. It seeks to terrify you on a deeply psychological level, like most of the classics did - simply because they were so limited in what they could actually do or say. They had to find other ways to imply the horror, or just give you a tantalizing glimpse of the true horror that lurks beyond the door, or the forest or, sometimes, the strings of sanity itself. And "The Mummy" might just succeed on all those levels above all others in its category. It is a mighty powerful film.

Memorable Stuff: There is an opening scene where a junior archeologist sees the risen Imhotep slip out of his tomb and shuffle away. We see only the mummy's stiff movements as he stirs, and then the tendrils of his wrappings as he disappears through the door. But we get to watch the archeologist break down into total maniacal hysteria, with a laugh that will haunt y0ur dreams for years to come and remind you of what horror truly is. Also, the scene where Ardeth Bey (Karloff) beckcons Helen to look into a pool and recall her past life as Ankhsenamun is absolutely disturbing, hypnotic and horrific all at once. Johann should have been nominated for an Oscar for that scene alone.