100 Days of Horror welcomes you to ... SATANFEST 2013

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"Y'all know me, know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', and down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."

Monday, September 20, 2010

100 Days of Horror Day Fifty-Nine - "Plan 9 From Outer Space!"

Greetings from Mars on this ghoulish Monday afternoon. A late one today because as usual, Monday is hellishly awful - filled with work, caffeine, naps and meetings out the wazoo.

But today's film is a doozy and one I love deeply. Enjoy the worst film of all time tonight and thanks for playing!

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959): Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. Starring Tor Johnson, Mailia Numi, John "Bunny" Breckinridge, Tom Keene and Bela Lugosi.

The Skinny: Voted the worst movie ever made by the worst director ever, "Plan 9" is a campy romp into the mind of a maniac with a love of filmmaking. The plot - what there is of it - centers on an impending invasion from outer space that includes resurrecting the bodies of the recently dead as a means to take over the planet. There are some cops, some weird space people, and a rocket ship. And a guy that looks like a vampire. And Vampira.

What's Good: Oy vey, what a loaded question! Seriously, there isn't much "good" about the film. Director Ed Wood - the centerpiece of the Tim Burton film of the same name - was infamous for casting shitty actors, using shitty sets with shitty lighting and using shitty first takes without even bothering with a second take. So, I mean when you roll like that, your results wind up ... well, shitty. But there is the proverbial gold in them thar turds, folks. You have to tough it out if you want to reap the rewards - such as Bunny Breckenridge's saucy alien overlord, or the inane dialogue rendered unintelligible by the monstrous Tor Johnson - but it is seriously worth it. Don't expect to be scared, no sir - the graves are cardboard and the "monster" isn't exactly monstrous. It's camp - pure yucks the whole way through. Wood would be proud.

What's Bad: Shit, see above. And add the fact that since Lugosi died before the actual filming began, his part was mostly performed by the director's chiropractor who hid his utter unlikeness of Lugosi behind a cape the entire film. Lugosi's part was filmed without the benefit of sound some months before he died as a reel of "test footage" with no real project in mind.

Why We Like It: See all of the above, we LOVE shitty campy movies! And Woods' version of camp is particularly delicious!

Memorable Stuff: Hm, I wouldn't exactly call it "memorable," but the flying saucers over Washington DC that are actually hub caps and paper plates glued together is just audacious and astounding and awful and wonderful all at the same fucking time. I love this flick. I love it good.