100 Days of Horror welcomes you to ... SATANFEST 2013

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"Y'all know me, know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', and down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."

Friday, September 3, 2010

100 Days of Horror Day Forty-Two - "Monsters Crash the Pajama Party!"

Sleazy salacious salutations!

Guess who did $900 worth of damage to his dental work last night via a hard chunk of Butterfinger? Yeah my dumb ass. I Crazy Glued it back into place though, so fuck it. I guess no more hard candy for yours truly.

Anyway, I also made my first Halloween purchases today! I dropped $18 on a ghoulish rag, a resin skull, a bag of creepy crawlies to stuff in said skull's mouth and some scented autumn candles. Ooh, it's the most wonderful time of the year!

And today's selection is the best for a ridiculous night like tonight! For the six week anniversary of the 100 Days challenge, I shall imbibe tasty hard cider and pumpkin ale with my beautiful wife in the sanctity of our boudoir, scented candles burning, and this ridiculous piece of work playing on the Big Screen - "Monsters Crash the Pajama Party!" Check The Skinny below and if you somehow managed to locate this film, I hope you enjoy it too!

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party (1965): Directed by David L. Hewitt. Starring Vic McGee, James Reason and Peter James Noto.

The Skinny: This is so bad it doesn't even qualify as a B-Movie, but I love it to pieces! This movie follows a group of teens who camp out in an alleged haunted house only to discover a fiendish mad scientist is waiting in the basement to make them his next victims of his experiments.

What's Good: This is actually a hard to find movie that comes on a DVD called the "Spookshow Spectacular." The DVD is basically a tour of crappy 8mm footage, phony 3-D experiments, home movies, schlock horror posters and radio clips and several B-Rated features and below. It's an awesome spectacle and a great way to spend an evening because there is no feature menu - everything is a hidden behind Halloween-based Easter Eggs that you have to surf around to find. The feature movie itself is an extremely low-budget affair that follows the traveling spookshow medium where the "monsters" are actually silly costumes like monkeys and bad werewolves. When the mad scientist runs out of victims in the film, he turns to the camera, purporting to talk to the audience itself, claiming them to be their next victims. As the screen goes dark, the actual "monsters" from the film emerge from behind the screen and grab victims from the audience. For real authenticity, some of the "victims" were actually shills who were in on the gag, so when the movie comes back on, you see those "victims" on the screen (really just other actors, but wearing the same clothes as the "victims"). To me, this sounds like great, insane fun! And it's actually my dream to revive one of these Spookshows with my own schlocky movie one day. A man can dream, no?

What's Bad: Technically, everything. There are two or three full-length movies on the disc, but they ain't no Oscar winners. So yeah, if B-Movie badness isn't your scene, run far far away. But if you like silly Halloween cartoons from the 30s and a quartet of black men singing "Dry Bones" while a fifth black guy dances with a skeleton and a push broom in the hallway, then by all means step right up!

Why We Like It: The wife and I came across this little gem in a Borders a few years ago and that's when I first heard of the whole Spookshow phenomenon. After perusing the DVD i realized that this was just the kind of thing that my heart longed to enjoy. I love just about every little clip and picture and movie on this damn DVD and I am sorely happy that I decided to just pick it up even though I had no idea what it was all about.

Memorable Stuff: MANY THINGS! But for the "Spookshow Spectacular" DVD, nothing - but nothing - beats "The Hypno-Scope." As the DVD begins, a spinning black spiral fills the screen as a disembodied voice dripping with echo tells you that creatures may touch you or the dead may appear. When the spinning circle abruptly stops ... all I can tell you is that reality bends. Whatever you look at next appears to warp towards you, turning itself inside out at it moves closer to you. It's super badassery.