100 Days of Horror welcomes you to ... SATANFEST 2013

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"Y'all know me, know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', and down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

100 Days of Horror Day Forty - "Creepshow II!"

This is a super late entry today, sorry. I am dealing with a lot of work because of a short week due to Monday's holiday (I would rather work the fucking day than struggle to get it all done in four days).

Anyway, I don't have too much to say, I am just tired and grumpy and ... a few other emotions it's probably best I don't express. Check out "Creepshow II" skinny below and enjoy this schlockfest yourself.

Creepshow II (1987): Directed by Michael Gornick. Starring George Kennedy, Dorothy Lamour and others.

The Skinny: In this second entry in the "Creepshow" series of films, an old wooden indian defends his lifelong owners from dishonor, a group of stoners grasping for the last gasp of summer get more than they bargained for, and a hit-and-run on a dark stormy night turns into a nightmare for a rich old woman.

What's Good: Well, for the most part I have tried to avoid sequels and series that just go on and on and on but this is an interesting opportunity to juxtapose the two films. The first "Creepshow" was a well-executed foray into comic-style horror. This is just lazy-assed cocaine-induced 80s-era filmmaking. I don't even know who the director is, in fact. And the fact that they couldn't attract the talent to the second one that they did to the first one speaks to the producers who weren't concerned with a quality product but with just getting Stephen King's name out there as product (all three of the stories are adapted from King's works). It gets off to a good start with "Chief Woodenhead" but quickly looses momentum in "The Raft" and falls flat on its face by the time we get to "The Hitchhiker." But King's stories are usually enjoyable even when they're half-assed ... which isn't often.

What's Bad: The acting. There are no quality actors whatsoever in here, save for the late George Kennedy and the wonderful (and late) Dorothy Lamour. Other than that, this is just a so-so version of shows like "Tales from the Darkside," which told similar tales with far more gusto.

Why We Like It: Meh. I watched it a lot as a kid, especially the scene on the raft with the titties. But other than that, it's better for you to just rent/buy/download the first "Creepshow" and don't bother with this one. In fact, forget it was ever made.

Memorable Stuff: As I said, titties on a raft.