100 Days of Horror welcomes you to ... SATANFEST 2013

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"Y'all know me, know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', and down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

100 Days of Horror Day Twenty-Nine - "Shaun of the Dead!"

Ghoulish Mourning my moribund minions!

Yes, here I am on vacation still providing you with some my insights! Like you need my insights to get you through your day.

Anyhoo, yes here I am seaside in lovely Ocean City, MD ... er, oceanside, or bayside - what body of water is this? Ah, fuck it. Regardless of my locale, I still watched last night's selection, "Lady Frankenstein," while sitting outside at the campground as the rest of the family slept in the air conditioning inside. Losers.

And I'll do the same with tonight's movie, the indelible classic "Shaun of the Dead!" Check the (pre-written) Skinny below! Tomorrow, it's time to "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark!"

Shaun of the Dead (2004): Directed by Edgar Wright. Starring Simon Pegg, Lucy Davis, Nick Frost and Bill Nighy.

The Skinny: Just in case it’s somehow possible that you haven’t seen this “Rom-Zom-Com” yet (that’s “Romantic Zombie Comedy”), run out immediately and rent it. Simon Pegg plays the titular character, a 30-something schlub on the verge of losing his hottie girlfriend. And right in the middle of a plague of undead. As the world falls apart around him, Shaun must make decisions whose consequences will stretch far beyond the next wave of zombies in need of a mowdown.

What’s good: Almost everything. It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s good for the soul like nourishing chicken soup. This is the “horror” movie you get your girlfriend to watch because it’s about a couple just like you! And it’s isn’t really scary so much as it is … well, just quirky. Simon Pegg is absolutely amazing - he is a comic genius who can sell a joke without really even trying. And his comedic partner in crime Ed Frost is even funnier if that's possible.

What’s bad: Practically nothing. True, it’s no Oscar winner, but Pegg and comedic companion Nick Frost (also the stars of buddy cop movie parody “Hot Fuzz”) have incredible chemistry and they wring every laugh out of the script co-penned by Wright and Pegg. And while it’s no “Sophie’s Choice,” the film is not without real tear-jerker moments. Scenes involving Shaun’s mother and stepdad (Bill Nighy, in all his deadpan glory) are gut-wrenching and the final moments between Pegg and Frost rival the best buddy moments in cinema history.

Why we like it: Seriously, what’s not to love? It’s loaded with great repeatable lines (“You’ve got red on you,” “Do any of you cunts want a beer?”), and Pegg’s Shaun is likeable even when he’s fucking up. And if some of the scenes don’t bring a tear to your eye, then you are one heartless bastard. Go rent the “Saw” series and lock yourself away in your creepy little bedroom and don’t bother the rest of us. We want our "Shaun," because even when he's bashing zombie skulls with a cricket bat, he's just so frigging adorable. And director Edgar Wright is one of the hottest up-and-coming directors out there.

Memorable stuff: Attacking the zombie chick in the backyard with Shaun’s outdated record collection (“Purple Rain?” “No!” “Sign o' the Times?” “Definitely not!” “The Batman soundtrack?” “Throw it.”) is just for starters. The dialogue will have you and your geeky friends quoting for hours on end and will inspire endless costume opportunities for overweight middle-aged losers like myself.